


Santa Tell Me

by CelebrateTheFreedom



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Fluff, Holidays, Light Angst, M/M, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 16:27:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21951241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelebrateTheFreedom/pseuds/CelebrateTheFreedom
Summary: Stiles is back for Christmas and Derek goes on a date. Stiles might have just given himself a heartbreak for the holidays.
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Comments: 1
Kudos: 192





	Santa Tell Me

**Author's Note:**

> So I’ve had his story laying around since October and I had to finish it in time for Christmas. I wish it was more Christmas-y I guess but it is what it is.

Stiles was home for the holidays from college. His midterms had gone wonderfully because he had worked hard the last few weeks, but now that they had come and gone he was feeling pretty bored. That's when he decided to reach out to Derek asking if they could hang out and discover the man was- Styles froze looking at the text he had just received.

7:15 pm Stiles: dinner tonight?

7:21 pm Derek: Already on a date. ;)

Date. Derek was dating people again. Stiles sighed. he knew he had no right over what Derek did or who he did it with but he couldn’t help the burning feeling inside he got at the thought of Derek seeing someone romantically. He tried to ignore the feeling- it wasn’t like he wasn’t used to it. He had loved Derek for a long time now. He had seen him dating several women, most of them had turned out to be evil, sure, and Stiles tried to convince himself it was just him worrying about his friend.

It’s been a long time since he had to go through it and Stiles stupidly thought he’d never had to deal with it again, not because he expected Derek to never date again but because he had hoped he would be over his crush for Derek by now.

How silly of him, if anything his feelings only grew and grew until it was suffocating Stiles to keep them in. They both have matured these past years and their relationship did as well.

Stiles was stretched out m on the couch trying not to think about Derek and his date. To say he was failing miserably was an understatement, his mind kept wandering and coming back to that same scene over and over again. ‘What scene?’ you may ask- it was Stiles’ carefully detailed and unrealistic idea of Derek on a date. It would be a candle-lit dinner, soft smiles and delicate caresses to show his partner love and adoration. If 90% of the time Stiles was imagining himself at the receiving end of all affection, well, nobody had to know.

He was getting seriously fed up with his insistent mind when he decided to text the girls on the group chat to see if they wanted to join his pity party (even if they weren’t aware of it).

9:36 pm Stiles: movie night?

9:37 pm Lydia: if you’re bringing the ice cream

9:39 pm Erica: and the popcorn!

10:07 pm Stiles: on my way ♡ 

He loaded his stuff into his Jeep and drove to Lydia’s shortly after, he sent a message to his dad about his whereabouts and tried not to think about why he brought Derek up almost immediately after hearing about his plans for the night.

10:01 pm Stiles: going to Lydia’s

10:01 pm Stiles: I think I’m sleeping over there.

10:03 pm John: What about Derek?

10:05 pm Stiles: not available tonight

10:15 pm John: Ok

10:16 pm John: See you tomorrow, son

His dad hadn’t been wrong, though. His first option had been Derek after all, which sounded bad in his head because it meant Lydia and Erica were second options and that's just absurd, even though it was technically true.

When he arrived at Lydia’s house he spotted Erica’s car, with a smile he grabbed his bag of goodies and his change of clothes and headed to the door, he was a few feet away when it swung open and a grinning Erica greeted him.

“Hi, wonder woman.”

“Hey stunt boy #5”

“Ouch, I’m at least #2”

“Whatever you have to tell yourself, Stiles.” She dragged him inside chuckling and hugged him close, being followed by Lydia and Stiles nearly broke down.

It wasn’t his place to mourn a relationship that never existed in the first place, however, he couldn’t help the sadness and heartbreak he was giving himself by imagining all the things Derek did, well, is possibly still doing with his date. 

“What are we watching?” Stiles asked in hopes of distracting himself and the two girls who are way more in tune with his feelings about a certain werewolf for Stiles’ comfort.

“We could watch Captain Marvel,” Erica suggested.

Stiles was truly fucked if they were willing to watch superhero movies to placate his moping around.

“I was thinking something more festive like nightmare before Christmas,” Stiles suggested because Marvel movies reminded him of all the nights he felt lonely at college and Derek would skype with him so they could watch something together and it would placate most of the loneliness he felt. It reminded him of all the nights Derek was there after a shitty day and he would hold Stiles close until he fell asleep, or when Derek would randomly show up just to check on him. It made him slightly breathless at the face of these mere memories of them.

The girls nodded and made themselves comfortable on the couch, each with a pint of ice cream and a bowl of popcorn. Stiles tried to pay attention to the movie, he really did, he was the one to choose it in the first place. He sighed for what felt like the thousandth time that evening so Lydia paused the movie and turned to him.

“Spill.”

“I- What?” Stiles tried to play dumb even as his cheeks burned with embarrassment.

“Stupid is not a cute look on you, Stiles.” Erica rolled her eyes at him.

“It’s-“ Stiles took a deep breath to try to steel himself. He cleared his throat and squared his shoulders. “Derek is on a date.”

Realization dawned on their faces and it evolved into understanding then into sympathetic smiles.

“Don’t- Don’t look at me like that. I chose his friendship.”

“And did he have any say in this decision?” Lydia was frowning at him.

“At the end of the day it’s my choice, Lyds,” He tried to end the discussion of his questionable romantic decisions. It just spurted it on.

“What are you going to do, Stiles? Spend your whole life keeping your feelings from him only to wind up regretting it on your deathbed?” Her voice was stern and serious.

“I don’t know what you wanna hear, seriously.”

“I don’t need to hear anything. But I’d appreciate if you were honest with yourself and lived a life you don’t end up regretting.”

“I won’t,” Stiles said but his voice didn’t convey the confidence he was trying to convince himself he had. 

“I really hope you’re right,” Erica spoke up.

_Me too_ , Stiles thought to himself and the girls left him alone with his thoughts, resuming the movie and munching on the popcorn left on his bowl. This whole conversation made him think and wonder, was he wasting his life away pining for Derek?

He didn’t want to live a life in which he resented one of the people he loved the most. He didn’t want to look back and end up blaming Derek for decisions that Stiles made completely on his own. These thoughts scared him because he had never thought so far ahead about his decision about never telling Derek how he felt. 

Stiles was quiet for the majority of the night, only speaking when the girls prompted him. It was rare the times when Stiles got so introspective and lost in his thoughts that he stayed still for a long time but it happened that night, so much that he almost jumped out of his skin when the movie ended in the girls started speaking louder than the soft voices they were using during the movie. 

“I guess I’m going to go,” Stiles stood up and stretched.

“Hey, you’re okay, right?” Lydia wrapped her arms around him before he left. “I don’t regret what I said but I’m sorry if I overstepped. You can still sleep here if you want, you don’t have to go.”

Stiles sighed. “I guess the wake-up call was necessary, but I need time to think things through.” He gave her a weak smile and they hugged once more. Erica joined the hug and Stiles held the girls close. 

“Thank you,” He whispered just before letting go.

“Anytime,” Erica grinned.

Stiles walked away and into his car, he waited until he at least turned to the street to let the tears come. They streamed down his face so easily, his vision slightly blurry as his chest wavered with sob after sob. He had never allowed himself to feel and mourn his feelings for Derek being unreciprocated because he always thought that it was his decision and his decision alone to walk away and never know for sure if he was nurturing this love and this relationship by himself.

Stiles never let himself imagine or even dwell too much on the possibility of them happening or even being rejected because he just never considered telling Derek the truth and he was still not sure if it was what he was going to do. 

And it hurts so much keeping it in, it was such a heavy secret to carry around. Maybe they could move on with this revelation and his friendship with Derek could go on unscathed. It was too much to deal with right now so he got home, changed into his, actually Derek’s, henley - he had taken it one night and never given it back - laid on his bed and slept with fresh tears still streaming down his cheeks.

He woke up not long after with fingers running through his hair. He blinked awake, feeling too emotionally drained to think of anything.

“Hey,” a soft voice called him. “you okay?”

“Der?” Stiles mumbled still a little disoriented.

“Yeah.”

“What are you doing here?” Stiles pressed his face to Derek’s thigh, he let out a satisfied rumble as Derek continued petting his hair.

“I came to check in on you,” Derek’s voice sounded closer but Stiles was too tired to open his eyes. “We haven’t seen each other for ages.”

Stiles snorted in amusement. “You visited me like three weeks ago.”

Derek chuckled lightly and rubbed Stiles back. “Okay, I’m gonna go now,” Derek announced in a low voice. Stiles sighed and turned on the bed, his back to Derek. 

“Stay,” his voice sounded small and slightly sad.

Stiles heard shuffling and was prepared for the disappointment of hearing Derek leave even though he had asked for him to stay. His eyes filled with unshed tears and he took a shaky breath, hoping he’d be able to hold them back until the window closed and he was alone.

The bed dipped and suddenly there were strong arms around him.

“Hey, what’s up?” Derek was behind him, holding him close.

“It’s nothing,” Stile sniffled.

“It doesn’t seem like nothing.”

“Der, please,” Stiles sounded completely wrecked. “Drop it.”

Derek hummed in response and for now, it seemed like it was enough. Stiles knew he’d have to face it in the morning but now he could afford to pretend it was far away from them. He fell asleep with Derek's arms around him.

The morning came way too quickly if you asked either of the men slowly waking up on the bed. Derek woke up first. He laid there relishing in those moments where he could just breathe in and out, pretending his responsibilities and the outside world didn’t exist for a few more minutes. 

Stiles stirred awake not much later, stretching in bed like a lazy cat and turning in Derek’s arms. He hadn’t opened his eyes yet as he buried his face on Derek’s neck, sighing and holding him closer for a second before letting go. Well, at least he tried to let go but Derek didn’t let him go too far, his arms still firmly around Stiles’ waist and hands sneaking into his shirt touching the bare skin of his back.

They stayed in silence for a long time, just enjoying the slow morning now that it was so close to Christmas, Stiles debated whether breaking the silence was worth it or not. In the end, he decided it was so rare for them to have moments like this that he could hold out speaking for a few more minutes. Besides, he was not that eager to tell Derek why he was so upset the night before.

He used the silence to debate if he was telling Derek about his feelings before or after Christmas. On one hand, his holiday season would be forever scarred as The Day Derek Rejected Him but, at the same time, Stiles didn’t think he would be able to enjoy it now that he knew he wanted to open up to Derek. 

After talking to Lydia and Erica about his feelings and crying his heart out last night he had finally decided that it was detrimental not only to himself, and his and Derek’s friendship, but to the relationship with the whole pack the fact that he was a ticking bomb of hidden feelings about to explode on them over the prospect of Derek dating people again. Eventually, Derek would find someone he liked and he’d want to start a family with them. Stiles couldn’t wait his whole life on something that was bound to bite him in the ass.

Meanwhile, he would enjoy these last few moments in Derek’s arms, as their friendship would most likely suffer from his confession. Derek must have sensed some of what he was feeling because he started rubbing Stiles back in what felt like calming motions.

“We have to get up, Sourwolf,” Stiles eventually spoke into the crook of Derek’s neck. Derek only hummed in annoyance.

“Come on,” Sties poked Derek on his side and turned on the bed. He stared at the ceiling for a few seconds, wondering how that was his life before sitting up. 

Derek sighed beside him. “Okay.”

They got up and Stiles went to the bathroom to brush his teeth, Derek was right behind him. They brushed their teeth in companionable silence - Derek used the spare toothbrush Stiles kept in his room. After a few seconds, Stiles nudged Derek’s shoulder and they shared a foamy smile in the mirror, and just like that, the tension in the room lifted. 

They went down the stairs and the sheriff had already left for work. He left a note on the fridge saying he would be home later tonight and that he “expected you guys to stay for dinner.” Stiles snorted reading the note. 

“I hope you don’t have a date again tonight, my dad called dibs on dinner,” He looked at Derek over his shoulder, smiling teasingly. Derek noticed it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“What?” He sounded so confused Stiles had to laugh. 

“Cmon, Der. You were on a date last night, that’s what I meant.”

Derek frowned. “Wait, what?”

Stiles rolled his eyes so hard he thought they were going to pop out of its sockets. “Don’t play dumb with me, Sourwolf.” He had his hands on his waist in a Give Me No Bulshit pose with one side of his hips out.

Derek seemed genuinely confused so Stiles took pity on him and took a deep breath to steady himself for the conversation they’d have in the middle of the kitchen.

“Derek, you sent me a message yesterday saying you were on a date.” He leaned back against the kitchen counter looking at Derek who stood closer to the door leading to the living room.

“What? No, I didn’t,” He sounded pretty offended.

“Cmon, stop it,” Stiles rolled his eyes again. “You did and it’s fine, I’m happy for you.” 

The werewolf wouldn’t hear a lie in his voice or his heartbeat because there wasn’t one. He was happy for Derek because if he was dating again it meant that he was fine, he was healing and letting people in again. Stiles just wasn’t happy for himself. And he was determined to tell Derek he had romantic feelings for him, let himself grief and then move on after Derek rejected him and told him they were better as friends. 

Because maybe it was true. Maybe they wouldn’t work in different circumstances.

“It’s funny how you say that and your heartbeat doesn’t budge but your face tells me another story, Stiles.”

“Derek,” Stiles' voice wavered. “I- uh, I think I need to tell you something.”

Derek nodded and stayed still looking at Stiles with a blank expression on his face that Stiles hadn’t seen in a long time. 

“It’s better- uh- It would be better if we sat down?” Stiles was nervous, his hands moving awkwardly to the couch in the room over. 

Derek nodded and headed to the living room. They sat on opposite couches and looked at each other expectantly in Derek’s case and nervously in Stiles’. He bit his lip and averted his eyes for a second before breathing in and looking up directly into Derek’s eyes.

“Okay, I may say something you’re not expecting but just hear me out, ok?” Derek nodded so Stiles continued. “Well, I, uh, how do I start?” He seemed to be talking to himself.

“I like you, Derek.”

Just being able to say that out loud seemed to lift a thousand pounds from Stiles’ shoulders.

“If I’m being completely honest I love you, and I’ve been feeling this way for way longer than I’m willing to admit.” Stiles was trying really hard to just be honest and lay his heart out there for Derek to see. 

“And I don’t want it to ruin our friendship so I want you to know that things don’t have to be weird.” Stiles sighed and bit his lip. 

“I just realized that, now that you’re going on dates, I can’t wait around and just never say anything because if I do, I’ll never be able to move on. And I don’t think either of us deserves to live a life that we regret and I would never want to hold that against you,” Stiles looked at the ceiling apparently looking for strength, he couldn’t look directly at Derek because his resolve would go away. 

“Because it was my choice to hold onto this feeling and if it’s my choice I don’t want to blame you for anything in the future and I realized that it would happen eventually so you can just, uh, dump me or something and then we can move on and still be friends and then I can be the godfather of your children, uh, eventually, maybe, I don’t know.” Stiles laughed awkwardly because Derek was staring right at him with a serious look on his face. He had just rambled on and on and he couldn’t help but feel like he fucked up.

He bit his lip and just waited for Derek to process everything he said and hope there would still be a friendship he would salvage through this mess. This wasn’t how he had planned to tell Derek. But the worst part was the lack of response. Derek’s face was unreadable and it made him feel like he was bound to the aching heartbreak he had been fearful of. 

He never thought of Derek as someone mean. Was he rough around the edges for quite some time? yes, but Stiles was never afraid of him. He didn’t want to start being now.

His hands shook as the time went on without an answer. He started fidgeting and he couldn’t wait any longer so he got up and moving. Stiles went to the kitchen to busy himself. He started cleaning this up and started the coffee machine. 

If he was going to mope throughout this holiday season at least he was going to get things done first. Stiles had no idea how much time had passed until he heard Derek’s voice. He was so startled that he sprayed water all down his shirt.

“Hey,” Derek mumbled. “We’re a different kind of stupid.”

Stiles snorted. There goes nothing. He braced himself for the rejection that would follow. He was ready for the ‘I never thought of you that way, we’ve always been just friends’ he knew was coming. He held his breath and closed his eyes tightly with his back facing Derek.

“How-“ There was a pause. “How long have you get this way?” Derek’s voice wasn’t unkind. It was curious and maybe doubtful.

Stiles sighed. “I don’t know. Maybe since I was 17.”

“This long?” Derek half-whispered. It seemed more like he was talking to himself. 

Stiles finally turned to face him. He tilted his head and looked at the man before him. “It’s not possible you didn’t notice, smelled it on me or something.” 

“I don’t think wolves can smell love, all I ever smelled on you was lust.” Stiles' cheeks turned pink, the blush expanding to his neck and into the neckline of his shirt. “I thought that all you ever wanted was the body.”

“I am attracted to you, Derek. Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately?”

“Have you?” Derek asked, eyes traveling down Stiles’ body. Stiles blushed even harder, he wasn’t used to such a blunt flirt from Derek.

“I-“ Stiles was out of words for the first time in his life. 

“I love you too, Stiles.”

Stiles froze. He stood there with rosy cheeks, a wet shirt and his heart laid bare for Derek to take as he wished. He wondered if he heard it right. 

“What?” He mustered after a few seconds, voice so small that it was barely heard by human ears.

Derek walked to him slowly so as not to startle him. He stood in front of Stiles, so close he couldn’t take a step without running right into Stiles.

“Are you sure you’re not just entertaining me out of pity?”

“I would never do that, Stiles.” Derek was so serious Stiles couldn’t do much but believe him.

So Stiles grabbed his shirt and pulled him in so they could kiss. Stiles melted into Derek as soon as their lips crashed together. Derek wrapped his arms around Stiles’ waist and pulled him impossibly closer. 

They kissed softly for what felt like ages until they split up to breath. Stiles chuckled and hid his face in the crook of Derek’s neck. 

“We’re a different kind of stupid.” Stiles’ words were partially muffled. Derek laughed alongside him.

“So… that date, I still don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

Stiles detached himself from Derek’s arms and fished for his cellphone in his pocket. He went through the messages and showed the one Derek said he was on a date.

“Well?” Stiles looked up at Derek’s face to see he was frowning.

“I didn’t send you this message.”

“But you did, and that’s okay! I mean, I was happy for you.”

“No, Stiles, you don’t get it. I didn’t text you. Look.” Derek pulled his own phone and showed him that there wasn’t a message sent to match the one on Stiles’ phone.

“I was hanging out with Cora last night before I came here that is.” Derek sounded slightly frustrated.

“Why’d she do that?”

“I don’t know, maybe she was just trying to mess with us. She always knew about my, uh, crush on you.”

“Aw, you talked about me, DerBear?” Stiles cooed, text messages forgotten.

“Don’t ever call me that again,” Derek tried to sound stern but he was feeling way too happy to succeed.

“You like it,” Stiles teases him.

Derek suddenly grabbed him, Stiles let out a high pitched yelp - that he would deny ever emitting - and was carried up the stairs.

Derek threw him on the bed and started a tickle war that was over way too fast. Stiles wrapped his legs around Derek and managed to flip them on the bed. When he was on top he leaned down and kissed Derek the way he always dreamed he was able to. 

Christmas that year was one he would never forget.


End file.
